Movie Meltdown - Episode 209

It's been a while since we checked in with our beloved Misty and Jay, so this week we return to The Bastion of Awesomeness  to hang out and talk about... well, a little of everything. 

As we bask in the glow of the glittery squirrel, we also discuss... a shark quadruple feature, The Devil's Carnival, Zooey Deschanel, I just love her weird little monkey-face, Amish people are full of holes, The Complication, The Hole, Red Bank, Thora Birch, Warm Bodies, ninja sharks, James Van Der Beek, he probably bathed in Mandom daily, Baltimore, puffy peepers and snaggleteeth, Brooke Hogan IS a scientist, Naked Cowboy, Vera Miles, Dick Casablancas, Sand Sharks, UHF, Hurricane Sandy, Thomas Kinkade, tappin' Steve Buscemi, I wanna tackle her with a sloth... and give her a big hug, Scottish-English-Pirate, Sleepwalk with Me, Scarlett Johansson, a long extended Goosebumps episode, My Boyfriend's Back, Bait, wanna buy a deer head?, Punxsutawney, Hitchcock, Parks and Recreation, a walking tank, The Devil's Playground, Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, John Schneider, trying to take off your head, Anthony Hopkins, Zombie Honeymoon, Reefer Madness, The Larry Sanders Show, I'm not a mean person... I'm just really good at acting, a drowning duck, New Girl, Amber Heard, going to Coney Island, impaled with fins, American Horror Story, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, The Cyclone, Invasion U.S.A., Storage Wars, goats going down the waterfall, the circumference of Maryland, zombies in love, P90X, Mike Birbiglia, cute dog battle royale, Katherine Heigl and Mennonites you're face!! 

"Anyway... sharks."

Movie Meltdown - Episode 208 

This week our holiday/Lifeday celebration rages on, and one of the gang has faith that: "We can save this special... I sense the good in it." That is arguable, but at least we can look forward to watching the Star Wars cartoon AND the first canonical appearance of Boba Fett! 

And then as we imagine the Holiday Special can't get more tedious, we also mention... hairy Bea Arthur, Triumph the insult comic dog, a Christmas tree-shaped hole, the Scarface-home of the wookies, Pon farr, a group of druids, works every time, we're being rebels, BIM mark, Rob Bottin, blondes are really hot, clapping after TV shows, you are completely out of your mind... friend, robot santas, Moebius, action figure urban legends, pouring into your drinking hole, go home and shave your son's head, walks around in the nude everywhere, Harvey Korman, the giant rat, Rick Baker, people need to be blonde, Doctor Who Christmas Special, Boba Fett's rocket-firing backpack, deleted scenes, wookie snuggies, Heavy Metal, Donny and Marie, space jews, talking about how cute Luke Skywalker is, Jango Fett, not learning anything from Lumpy, a little Luke and Han on your wedding cake, LifeDay sales, I thought we'd stepped into Phantasm, watching an animated version of your dad, losing nerd-points, Wookie pelts, a montage, a house of criminals, a universal beverage, yip yip yip, riding a big lizard, playing in the theater for 68 weeks, the Sears-exclusive Snaggletooth, Food of the Gods and I've always loved Star Wars... I don't like it anymore.

"Ummmm, I'm super-stoked about the movie... but I wet my pants."

Movie Meltdown - Episode 207

This holiday season, we embark upon the most frightening journey EVER!! We sit down to watch The Star Wars Holiday Special ... or at least attempt to make it through the entire thing. It turns out to be one of the greatest challenges of our lives. But not before we take a moment to acknowledge one of the creepiest of holiday songs. Plus a certain member of the gang, explains how Frosty the Snowman and Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Hamlet are all basically the same story.  

And before the Rohypnoled kicks in, we also mention... Hillary's little helpers, Jefferson Starship, Starlog, unplayable guitars, The Paul Lynde Halloween Special, Lumpy, The Flintstones Christmas, a snow golem, Art Carney-isms, On the Implausibility of the Death Star's Trash Compactor, coked-up studio executives, ingredients for a intersteller cooking show, thumpety thump thump, weird Polish plays, how many TV's does that treehouse have, prepare for sudden stop, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, Cosmic Battlestation, using the word contraceptive in a children's book, Hidden Fortress, giant Wookie eating utensils, this holiday special is like Nascar, space domestic abuse, Jon Bon Jovi is a jedi, rhyming a word with the same word, heartfelt songs about teenage girls, get a keytar, Ann Margret & Al Hirt, mixed vegetable chum, Joe Dante, VideoDrome, Frankenstein, raunchy 50's TV shows, shag carpet in a wookie house?, Dr. Suess, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum, Diahann Carroll, it's like Lonesome Dove, Barry the monster and... at least I can say that i tried? 

All this and more on The Movie Meltdown Holiday “Special”!!! 

"You've not only ruined my favorite Christmas song... but you've actually ruined the concept of the Christmas special. And I feel like I have nothing now. "

Movie Meltdown - Episode 206 

Recently, as we sat down to discuss a ridiculous Bigfoot movie, we veered off into a different area. One of personal stories and weird circumstances. Of strange things happening not on the big screen, but in the real world. The session was so interested, that we decided that it needed to stand on it's own. As a subsection of our "Tales from the Cryptids" series. A reality-based tangent that we call... "Bigfoot: Myths and Legends". Hopefully you'll find it as engaging as we did when recording it. 

And while jumping at the slightest sound, we also mention... a local Bigfoot hunter, shooting a movie, Native American stories, The Ultraterrestrials, a baby crying, a 80-pound barn cat eating cattle, living in the sticks, a group of Boy Scouts, The Grass Man, stolen fish, that irrational fear, The Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas, it's coming through the field towards the house, mimicry, infrasound, The Pope Lick Monster, The Incident at Loch Ness, the world champion hide and seek player, the '94 UFO sighting, shaky 16mm, there's always that next step, ...and then I would have a great blurry photo of Bigfoot... like everybody else, hitting the wall of no evidence, The Trimble Country Beast, John Keel, Bigfoot on a totem pole, You don't know in the moment... and it brings back that mystery, squeezed a shot off, Loveland Frogman, Monster Quest, he just screams 'Sasquatch!' and runs off into the night, something was killing something, my wife walked away that morning, I dreamed that I died, the legendary gorilla, a sense of other-ness, there was no such thing as Bigfoot in 1953, the Patterson footage, the Chapman family, a .357 snub-nose, cattle mutilations, flooded to make a lake, The Minnesota Iceman, hating Air Supply, some farmer shot me, my Chewy figure looks just like Bigfoot, The Milton Lizard, digging into the ground, The Hillbilly Beast, sheet metal for a roof, the foggiest day in the history of the county, The Fairdale Bigfoot, coyotes fighting, I was in shock and for us to say that we know everything... is crazy.

"If you have a rational, credible person telling you a truly personal story... you've gotta give them a lot of credit..."

Movie Meltdown - Episode 205

This week starts off a little different, as we attempt to let someone else lead the introduction. Bear with us, as we quickly get past that and move on into some really interesting discussions. Including new movies, the future of retro and what is it that gives each decade it's own look, feel and personality. And just what killed Fred?!? We'll find out in an amazing story, involving old caves, a flour sifter, the mall, pollutants, twigs, dioramas, asbestos and a box full of Barbies. You have to hear this one... it's a classic!

And as we try to decide just what movies represent the 2000's, we also mention...  Jules and Jim, Emma Watson, a Slinky, The Pride of Miss Jean Brodie, fads, The Faculty, Oedipus, (The?) Rope, I Love the 80's/90's, a character actor orgy, The Goonies, Aimee Mann and John Doe, superhero movies, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, torture porn, earthquakes, karaoke backgrounds, Nick at Night, Napoleon Dynamite, finding things on YouTube, Blood Simple, Powerpoint presentations, our era is so not cool, twindow, Judd Apatow, Bill Murray or Jim Belushi?, Count Floyd, Patty Duke's twin, MTV has a publishing company?, Ghost Stories of Somewhere, retroleum, John Hughes, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, being mocked at 5 months old, The Slinky doesn't know!!, 1969, we've always had the internet, irony, hipster vs. douchbag, Harry Potter, Beginners, Apartment 3G, resurfacing disco, Kurt Cobain has always been dead, Begotten, what font to use, you should be less gullible, Suzanne Pleshette and making out with Richard Belzer. 

"Before that ever happened, I was already dead."

Movie Meltdown - Episode 204

This week the caffeinated movie geeks are back! And they get so hopped up on coffee they start gyrating around and taking their clothes off! Boy, you are really gonna see a lot... oh wait, this is an audio podcast huh?? Oh well, I guess we better just stick to talking in front of the microphones. So instead we spin our vocal tassels with a round of geek activities that at one point reveals "The Birth of Burlesque". Well, sort of.  

And with a peppering of big-breasted women, we also discuss... Samsara, the people who make the trailers, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, The X-Files, Scramble Body Action Man, Frankenweenie, Chicken with Plums, The Beyond, a special set of skills, Transformers, The Grey, Beyond the Black Rainbow, Sweeney Todd, I Melt with You, Lucio Fulci, Tim Burton, The Simpsons, floating in a canoe, Russ Meyer, finishing a TV series with a movie, Birdemic, Don't Torture a Duckling, an Academy Award for trailers, Wal-Mart in China, Behind Enemy Lines, Melancholia, organic diapers and the octogenarian action series. 

"It's like... the whole color pallet is the color pallet off of a waffle house ceiling."

Movie Meltdown - Episode 203

Our own little Movie Meltdown dysfunctional family gets together for Thanksgiving, in this holiday "special". After we eat a conglomeration of semi-traditional foods (including The Bride's maid of honor... Tofurkzilla!), we sit down to discuss the horrific turkey-themed movie "Blood Freak".  

And as we are all creeped out by "The Waddle-thing", we also discuss... macaroni and cheese casserole, vampire turkey, being dressed as crazy clowns, KFC bowls on steroids, Bag-O-Glass, a starfish that sounds a lot like Mae West, Andre the Giant and Joaquin Phoenix put together, the Star Wars Christmas Special, stuffing, flashbacks of the Yeti-nipple, The Adventures of Young Moby Dick, a zoo cemetery, deep-fried Twinkles, Joe Cocker, being saved by a lion, oh... the wood paneling, Reefer Madness, a blue beehive, vegan haggis, Roger Clinton, Jack Chick tracts, a "Blood Freak" action figure, mashed potatoes, not being able to pronounce things, a groovy pad, Carrie Fisher, Pink Floyd, compassionate aunt, Turbo Rimjob, turnip mush, Cracker Jacks, Peg Bundy-Loretta Lynn, leopard print, Lincoln, The Lion King, The Deer Lounge Advantage, deep-fried innards, Roy Clark, a long take, Monster Ridders (Monsters Be Gone), Mary Ellen from "The Waltons", the amputee and vaginal plastic surgery.

Spoiler Alert: I don't think you can really "spoil" Blood Freak... but whatever. 

"It's as rational as giblets."

Movie Meltdown - Episode 202 

After years of threats and planning... "Movie Meltdown" has put together their first LIVE event! For one night "Nancy's Bagel Grounds" became "Nancy's Italian Bistro" as Movie Meltdown unleashed upon the world - THE YETI SPAGHETTI SHOW! Listen as we give you a condensed version of all the spectacle and ridiculousness that occured that evening. Including spaghetti (obviously) as well as an amazing Yeti ice sculpture, live music, Yeti-cakes for dessert, a classic cartoon, and an actual YETI running around all night! All that then culminates with a group viewing of the "abominable" Italian movie "Yeti: Giant of the 20th Century". And as usual, we round things out with our crew's in-depth discussion session on the movie itself. We had a lot of fun that night, so come along and join in on the experience!

Spoiler Alert: "Yeti: Giant of the 20th Century" is one of those movies that you kind of have to see to truly appreciate/believe it actually got made. So seek it out and gather some friends together for your own viewing!

"You can see the movie is... either a Yeti monster movie or a really long Lassie episode, that's really weird..."

Movie Meltdown - Episode 201

So we've featured many interviews with actors and filmmakers over the years, but this week we change things up a little as WE ourselves are interviewed. We welcome Emily from "The Courier Journal" who asks us to try to explain, just what "Movie Meltdown" is exactly. Then we fall right back into our usual discussion mode as we talk about this week's Sofa Theater feature "The Lie". Directed by Joshua Leonard, and starring Joshua and our beloved (adopted cast member) Jess Weixler.

And as we wax philosophic about our own existence, we also mention... the awkwardness is excruciating, a soul-crushing job, so douchey, best drip so far, indie genre cliches, voyeurism, a weekend camping, people going to their futile jobs, the Clair Huxtable look, editing the movie, the waitress at the diner, InstaGram coloration, The Blair Witch Project, Allison Anders, these hash browns are amazing,  I love Portland... I met an owl there once, maybe it's just your head and what do you do when you give yourself a day off?

Spoiler Alert:  "The Lie" has a MAJOR spoiler moment in it, so watch it beforehand for spoiler-free listening. Plus Fred spoils the end of "The Return of Martin Guerre". You have been warned!!

"It's not really about the lie." - "But which lie is it?"

Movie Meltdown - Episode 200

In this our GIANT 200th episode, we talk to none other then actor Richard Kiel! Yes, most of the world remembers him as Jaws from the James Bond movies. But he's had a rich career filled with television work from "The Twilight Zone" to "Gilligan's Island". From "Gunsmoke" to "The Monkees". Not to mention his massive list of movie credits that include: "The Longest Yard", "Silver Streak", "Pale Rider", "Happy Gilmore", "Cannonball Run 2", "Force 10 from Navarone" and "Eegah"! Oh yeah, and a couple of other movies with that Roger Moore guy.                

So as we hang out in the lobby of the movie theater, we also mention... fighting Bart the Bear, Wild Wild West, D.W. Griffith selling movie tickets, Overlord, promoting your movies, the page 3 girls, suggestions from the department heads, Elvira, Regarding Henry, I play an intellectual bad-ass, a different person to tear your movie ticket, House of the Damned, Cubby Broccoli wants to have lunch with you, Star Trek conventions, The Phantom, Wilford Brimley, Hervé Villechaize, the alternative ending, a barnstorming bare-knuckled fighter, holding the baby in my huge hands, Thriller, making very old actors look very old, Burt Reynolds, Tangled, John Brodie, he took his Bond movies very seriously, The Giant of Thunder Mountain, a king-sized bed, Otto Preminger, my wife's ninth month of pregnancy, The Human Duplicators, the harder I work the luckier I get, parents protecting their children from the giant, scars all over his chest and body, a humongous growth spurt, little guys have a chip on their shoulder,Skidoo, killing steers with a sledgehammer, liking chick flicks, neurotic over-obsessing tweaking, being fed a diet of ripe figs and Hawaiian Punch. 

"You know when you're a pretty boy... it's difficult to be taken seriously. So, I've never had that problem. I'm taken too seriously!" 

For more on Richard, including his upcoming appearances, go to: richardkiel.com